Giraffes? Giraffes!
Falsely published under the names Dr. and Mr. Haggis-On-Whey2003 saw the publication of a very special book. Giraffes? Giraffes! is a beautifully made pseudo-science book that is roughly the size and shape of a Where's Waldo volume. The embossed gold cover and 1950's era illustrations will remind you of the days when science was a more magical endeavor. It's published by McSweeney's, the often creative publisher started by Dave Eggers.
Inside, the illustrations are done in exquisite detail. Charts abound, and issues are easily clarified with visual representations, such as one chart that depicts mirrors under control by either the Irish or Giraffes at different times of the day.
The book covers all aspects of the giraffe. Especially the aspects that are not true. In explaining the Giraffe populations eventual move to Terre Haute, Indiana, the book tells us:
Many years ago, the giraffes settled in Atlanta, which is known to most people as Hotlanta! But there were too many muskrats and six-fingered people in Hotlanta, and they soon moved to Columbus, Ohio. Columbus was indeed a very exciting place, and had many of the things they love - grass, people wearing pink shirts, and plenty of ceiling fans - but it didn't have one thing they were looking for - a zip code that started with the numbers 4780.
In a recent event featuring Mr. Eggers, he noted how he only recently realized that when publishing a book, there is no requirement that the in-set page must have official-type wording. Consequently, reading the in-flap is one of the greatest joys of this book.
One thing that struck me about this book is the amount of care shown in the production, something rarely given to foolish drivel. One wonders whether it was carefully crafted, or not edited for anything other than spelling mistakes. From what I know of Dave Eggers, I'm guessing the latter.
It quickly becomes obvious that Giraffes? Giraffes! is a bit too crazy and Giraffe- heavy to take in during one sitting. Numerous photographs of Giraffes doing such things as working the onion fields of Hotlanta (see picture) push the book to an almost annoying level of creativity. It's good for occasional glimpses and for anytime you need inspiration, but is basically a coffee table book. I can't imagine what it would do to a trusting child.
The book seems wary of staying on the same topic for more than a paragraph. The authors are continually looking for reasons to switch the topic and towards the end of the book, Dr. and Mr. Haggis-on-Whey tackle some rarely asked questions:
How fast can giraffes run?
The giraffes have tried to phase out running from their lives but if they had to, they could still run much faster than you. Let's say, for the sake of argument, that they can run 780 mph.
If you follow my recommendation and actually go ahead and purchase this book, I have a project for you. See just how long you can pass this book off to someone as genuine science. It is not easy.
